


Birthday Suit

by WrathoftheStag (Mwuahna)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Birthday Party, Future Fic, Jack is a horndog, Jack's 30th, Jack's Birthday Suit, M/M, Smut adjacent, accidental nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 06:07:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11891634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mwuahna/pseuds/WrathoftheStag
Summary: It’s Jack’s surprise 30th birthday party, and the suit on his bed isn’t the only one everyone is going to see him wearing that day.





	Birthday Suit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [westernredcedar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/westernredcedar/gifts).



> For [WesternRedCedar](http://archiveofourown.org/users/westernredcedar/pseuds/westernredcedar) who submitted the prompt: a birthday that doesn’t go as expected.

“ _Crisse de calice_!” Jack yelled as Bitty ran behind him and begged him to stop.

“Happy birthday!” the crowd screamed when Jack entered the living room, and then immediately the cries died as everyone got one _giant_ eyeful of Jack Laurent Zimmermann, naked as the day he was born.

That… was not how Jack expected his birthday to go that morning when he woke up.

**+**

Bitty had been planning Jack’s surprise party for months. Every detail had been thought out and carefully executed: the cocktail of the evening would be a Jack Rose; chicken tenders and grilled chicken skewers with an assortment of dipping sauces would be served while various salads, pastas, and hors d'oeuvres would accompany the meal. A playlist called “Jack’s Greatest Dad Rock Hits” had been put together by Coach (“This is my finest work,” Coach proudly declared); black forest birthday cake and mini cherry pies would be the dessert. 

Finally, Jack’s birthday present was well hidden in the linen closet, away from prying Canadian eyes. All that was left was to keep Jack out of the house long enough to set up and have everyone arrive.

The Samwell gang, most of the Falconers, Bob and Alicia, George and her wife, Coach and Suzanne, even Moomaw, were coming -- you only turned thirty once, and Bitty wanted it to be one of the best birthday parties Jack ever had.

The morning of Jack’s party, Bitty woke Jack up in his most favorite way. Afterward, Jack satiated and smiling, rolled onto his side and pulled Bitty into him. Their cat, Goon, sat at the edge of the bed and purred.

“So, am I getting birthday pie later today?”

“Maybe. If you play your cards right. Cherry?”

“Mmm… cherry,” Jack replied sleepily.

Bitty kissed Jack on the chin and said, “What time are you and Tater heading to the museum?”

“He said he was picking me up at 1:00 and then I’ll be back by 6:00. You made the reservations for Birch at 7:30?”

“Sure did.”

“Great, that’ll give me time to change super fast and then we can go.”

“Perfect, sweetpea.”

“I love when you call me sweetpea,” Jack said into Bitty’s cheek and searched for Bitty’s lips with his own. 

Soon they were kissing intensely, and Jack murmured into Bitty’s ear, “I’m ready to go again if you are.”

“Oh no, Mr. Zimmermann!” Bitty laughed and playfully slapped him on the chest. “Aren’t you heading for a run with George in a little bit?”

“That’s right! I almost forgot, but it’s my birthday. Can’t we stay in bed longer?” Jack asked with a groan as he gripped the Bitty booty.

“No whining.”

“Fine, but later -- you’re mine,” Jack said he nibbled on Bitty’s neck. “Consider yourself pounced on, Bits.”

“Promises, promises,” Bitty said and planted one last quick kiss on Jack’s lips before he jumped out of bed.

**+**

After their run, George took Jack out for breakfast.

“So any special plans for tonight?” she asked with a straight face.

“Just dinner at Birch and pie at home. We’ll go see my parents next weekend, but just dinner tonight.”

“Oh, sometimes simple is nice,” she said and smirked into her coffee mug.

“Yeah, and then I finally get to open my present. I have no idea what it is, but Bitty’s been so excited about it. I can’t wait to see it.”

“Ugh, you two are so stinking cute, it’s actually really gross. We all sit around the nook and talk about how disgusting it is.”

“Haha,” Jack said as he dug into his Denver omelette. “That’s all Bitty, he’s the cute one.”

“Whatever you say, _sweetpea_ ,” George said with grin.

“George!”

**+**

“The Moomaw has landed! I repeat, the Moomaw has landed.”

“Yay,” Bitty said as he put Jack’s pie in the pie safe. “She’s gonna want you to take them somewhere to eat right away. That woman is always hungry. I love her.”

“Sounds like my kind of woman,” Shitty said.

“Please don’t flirt with my moomaw,” Bitty said as he laughed into the phone.

“Well, I certainly can’t do that with your parents around, now I can? We’ll go grab a little something to eat, I’ll take them all to the hotel so they can rest for a while, and then we’ll see you at the house around 5:15ish. Sound good?”

“Perfect! Thanks for picking them up, Shits.”

“No problem, Bitty. See you soon and get ready to tear shit up for that gorgeous beaut. It’s going to be fucking ‘swawesome!”

“Bye.”

Goon ran toward the door, letting Bitty know Jack was about to come in. Jack bound into the house and immediately took Bitty into his arms. 

“How is the world’s most handsome man?” Jack asked.

Bitty kissed Jack, and then wrinkled his nose. “Good, but the world’s other most handsome man needs a shower.”

“And yet, George and I still went out for breakfast like this,” Jack said with a shrug.

“I hope you gave your waitperson a big tip.”

“Always,” Jack said then gently sucked on Bitty’s neck.

“Jack!” Bitty threw his head back and smiled. “Honey, come on. You stink. Go shower.”

“Fine, but come with me,” Jack said as he pulled Bitty down the hall and toward their bedroom. 

Bitty sighed in mock resignation, “Well, if I have to.”

Jack suddenly carried him over his shoulder and smacked his butt; Bitty’s laughter echoed throughout the hallway.

**+**

Bitty was still trying to catch his breath, face flushed, body sticky, when he said, “What has gotten into you, today?”

Jack fluffed his pillow and sighed as his head sunk into it. 

“I don’t know, Bits. I just _want_ today. Want you. All day.”

“I mean, not that I’m complaining,” Bitty said he stroked Jack’s cheek, “But if we keep going, I’m not gonna make it to dinner. I’ll be exhausted.”

“Is three times too much?”

“It’s not even noon, yet.”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

Bitty smiled, scooted closer to Jack, and pressed his body into Jack’s space. “Not sure. Let’s find out…”

**+**

“I’ll leave your suit on the bed, so that when you come back all you have do is change and we can leave. Just call me when you’re almost here so I can be sure to be ready.”

“Thanks, Bits. Tater just texted me, he’s pulling around the corner. Guess I’ll see you later.”

Bitty smiled as he admired Jack’s bright, happy face. He loved seeing Jack like this -- just before the start of the preseason, when he still had that bit of summer glow and relaxation on his face. 

“What?” Jack asked with a blush. 

“Nothing. Just… I love you, that’s all.”

Jack smiled widely, hugged Bitty, and inhaled the scent of his hair. “And I love you. So much.”

Bitty pressed onto his tiptoes and kissed Jack, and Jack of course, instantly took the kiss to the next level.

“Jack!” Bitty said as he laughed and wiped his mouth. “Don’t you dare get me started. You are a menace.”

“Can’t help it,” he replied with an eyebrow waggle.

“Lord, this man. Go! We can continue this later tonight,” Bitty said as he pushed Jack toward the door. “Have fun, call me when you’re almost home. Tell Tater I said hi.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Yes. Now go away.”

“Okay, but we will continue this,” Jack said with a wink.

Jack blew Bitty a kiss and left. Bitty stood at the door and watched as he climbed into Tater’s Mustang and the two were off.

“Finally. Now let’s get this show on the road.” 

**+**

By 5:30, the house was filled with people ready to celebrate Jack’s 30th year on Earth. Suzanne and Alicia enjoyed their second Jack Rose of the evening; Lardo, Shitty and Moomaw laughed and exchanged colorful anecdotes -- Shitty had already proposed to Moomaw twice at that point; and Bitty felt confident with how everything was going. The food was ready, his cake came out beautifully, all of Jack’s favorite people were in their home. All that was missing was the guest of honor.

“Do you need any help with anything?” George’s wife, Rosalia, had asked.

“No, I think we’re all set, Rosie. Please, enjoy yourself,” Bitty said as he motioned toward the appetizers. “Once Jack gets here, we can eat the rest.”

Bitty’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his back pocket.

“Everyone! Jack just sent me a text. They’re about 15 minutes away.”

The crowd cheered.

“So the second he comes in, I’ll drag him straight to the bedroom so he can change and then we’ll walk out here and y’all yell surprise.”

“Dicky, I’m pretty sure we’ve all been to a surprise party before,” Moomaw called out.

“Good one, Moomaw,” Lardo said as they bumped fists.

Bitty shook his head and smiled. “You two, am I going to have to separate you two?”

A few minutes later, Bitty’s phone buzzed again.

“That’s them! Tater said they’re a block away.”

The crowd hushed and everyone made themselves smaller as they settled into their hiding spaces. The sound of a car door closing was heard outside.

Bitty adjusted his tie, gave the group a thumbs up, headed toward the door, and opened it before Jack could get his key out.

“You’re home!”

“Yes, I am,” Jack said and instantly took Bitty into his arms and plied him with a deep, wet, filthy kiss.

Bitty eye’s grew wide, and he momentarily melted into the kiss, but then remembered that 50 of their closest friends were just in the next room and it would be poor manners to walk in there with a chub in his pants.

“Uh, sweetheart,” he said pushing Jack away gently, “We have to get ready for dinner.”

“We have a couple minutes,” Jack said palming Bitty’s pants.

“Let’s uh -- get you to the bedroom,” Bitty said, face burning with embarrassment.

“That’s the plan, Bits.”

“Oh lord,” Bitty said as he quickly pulled Jack down the hall and into their room.

Once they were inside the bedroom, Jack pushed Bitty against the door and was all over him. 

“God, when you’re all dressed up in your suit -- I just can’t,” Jack panted into Bitty mouth.

“What is with you‽”

“You are so damn gorgeous,” Jack said as he kissed Bitty.

It took every ounce of strength for Eric Richard Bittle to pull himself away from Jack, but he had people in their house. Guests! And he could not fuck Jack with them in the next room. No sir.

And yet, there they were…

“Jack! We’re going to be late. Get dressed! I’m not kidding.”

Jack sighed. “Fine. I’ll get dressed. Party pooper.”

“What‽” Bitty yelped. 

“Party pooper,” Jack said with a pout as he began to undress. Then he looked Bitty straight in the eye and began to _undress_.

“W-what are you doing?” Bitty squeaked out.

“Getting dressed…” 

He slowly pulled off his t-shirt, then ran his fingers down his chest, and unzipped his jeans, letting them fall fluidly to his ankles.

“Jack…”

Jack, being a total little shit, then bent down and pulled his underwear off, while Bitty stood there and thought, _And yet, here we are…_

Jack slinked over to Bitty and pressed into him, feeling the delicious friction down to his toes. Using every last ounce of willpower and common sense Bitty did he only thing he could think of. 

He yelled out, “Your present is in the living room!”

“Is it‽”

Jack had been dying to open it, because he knew Bitty was so very excited.

“Let me see!” Jack said then took off toward the living room.

It took Bitty a millisecond to realize what was happening before his legs and mouth could finally spring into action.

“No! Wait! Jack!”

Jack sprinted into the living room, parts bouncing up and down, a giant smile on his face when he realized he... was… not… alone.

“ _Crisse de calice_!” 

“Happy birthday!” the crowd yelled when Jack ran into the room, and then immediately the cries died down as everyone got one _giant_ eyeful of Jack Laurent Zimmermann, as naked as the day he was born.

Bitty ran in after him, yelped, and then inexplicably covered his own eyes.

Shitty howled with laughter as Lardo immediately clicked her camera shutter, while Coach also covered his eyes and Suzanne’s grew wide as saucers. Tater stood outside, peered through the window, pounded on the glass and laughed while he screamed something in Russian.

“Well, I can see why he likes the boy,” Moomaw said calmly and took another sip of her drink, unfazed.

**+**

Once Jack reemerged from the bedroom (after 30 minutes of sheer mortification) he came out in his other birthday suit, and was greeted by cheers and whistles. Ransom and Holster made a “Yo Marry Me, Jack Zimmermann” sign with paper towel; Marty, Thirdy and Tater saluted him. Bob and Alicia just shook their heads and smirked. Suzanne -- god, Jack couldn’t even look at Suzanne.

Tater whistled and said, “Is your birthday, Zimmboni, but we all got present.”

“You’re all acting like you haven’t seen me naked before,” Jack said blushing. “We share a locker room, you know.”

“But never in its… full grown glory,” Snowy said as he motioned toward Jack’s pants while Poots practically did a spit take with his drink.

“Y’all, don’t be jealous,” Bitty said with a wink as he came in and rescued Jack, handing him a cocktail. 

The party went on just as wonderfully as Bitty hoped. Everyone ate, danced, drank and had the best time. Jack blew out all thirty candles in one breath, and let himself have two slices of cake. Bitty eyeballed the Falconers, daring them to say anything about it. No one did.

When it came time to open the presents, Jack opened Bitty’s last. He unwrapped it and inside was a blue and yellow dog collar.

“Bits?” Jack asked.

“We’re getting a dog!” Bitty said clapping with excitement.

They had talked about getting a dog for months now, a friend for Goon. Jack hadn’t had a dog since he was a boy, and he felt so stable and secure in his life now -- had for quite some time now -- he thought he could finally get another one.

“Really?”

“Yep! There’s a little guy I saw at the shelter, he’s a year old -- oh, Jack. He’s the cutest thing. I practically did a celly when I saw him. We’re picking him up tomorrow.”

Jack jumped up and hugged Bitty.

“All right, but when am I getting human great grandbabies?” Moomaw asked loudly.

**+**

That night in bed, Jack curled onto his side, reached back and pulled Bitty against him. He loved being the little spoon whenever he was tired. It made him feel so safe to have Bitty wrapped around him.

“Big spoonin’ tonight, huh? Someone must be exhausted,” Bitty said softly in Jack’s ear.

“Mmm… thanks for my party.”

“Did you have fun?” 

“Well, I’m not going to say that’s how I would have wanted to start the party, but it was great. Thanks so much, Bits.”

“Your mom did say that’s pretty much how your very first birthday went, so…”

Jack laughed. “God, I gave everyone chirping material for years.”

“You sure did, sweetpea.”

Jack closed his eyes, and let himself be lulled by the sound of Bitty’s breathing.

After a few minutes, Jack mumbled, “Night, Bits.”

“Mmm...night.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> All OMGCP characters by Ngozi.
> 
> Come and say hi [on Tumblr](http://wrathofthestag.tumblr.com/).
> 
> The [Jack Rose](http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/08/jack-rose-cocktail-recipe.html).
> 
> Guess this could fit in the [Parenthood, Please](http://archiveofourown.org/series/630467) series as Goon and Celly (yep, the dog is Celly) make an appearance.


End file.
